So, a while ago, I had an idea about how maybe "threads of attraction" (i.e. platonic, romantic, sexual, etc.) are actually made up of separate strands of more basic emotional responses. I thought that maybe alterous attraction was caused by having strands from both the platonic and romantic threads wound together into a single thread. Well, after deciding that I was pretty firmly in the demi-romantic/grey-romantic spectrum, I've been doing a bit more research on the topic of attractions. All of it coalesced into a new revelation, one of those moments that makes me feel like Neo when he finally can "see" the code behind the Matrix. There are no threads! Only the strands are real! What we think of as platonic, romantic, or sexual attraction are just the most common collections of individual strands of emotional responses that humans experience. They are not the only configurations that may exist. Indeed for what may be a small minority, but still a statistically significant amount of humanity, we experience very different configurations of emotional attachment. The concepts of alterous attraction, and queerplatonic relationships fit into this theory beautifully.

So a bit of a follow-up on a few things I've written about, along with more self revelations, one of which has taken way too long to realize!

This is the first in a series of posts about non-traditional types of attraction, and how they fit in the context of relationship anarchy. First up, is one that I've experienced enough times that I'm starting to wonder if it's my default setting.

As a bit of fun on my FB page, I created a convenient flow-chart to determine if I'm flirting with you. After a bit of feedback, I made a few alternate versions, enough to suit everyone I'd hope.

Random morning thought. I've talked about all the various kinds of attraction, I've talked about alterous attraction, and I've talked about modular personality traits. What if all the types of attraction aren't as separate as we think? Maybe the threads of attraction are made up of separate strands of more basic underlying emotional responses, and some combinations of those strands can have similar but distinctive properties, which we give different names to. Given this concept, alterous attraction might not be two threads that have become entangled, but a single thread with a combination of strands resembling both the other more common threads. I'm thinking these odd thread configurations are my default instead of the stereotypical threads of attraction. Damn, I'm going to have to contemplate this more later. Anyway, that's my rambling for the morning.

So in my break time this week, I've been working on a few things for this page. Some of it might work, some of it might not. I'm kinda just experimenting. I tried making some diagrams and charts, but they were boring. I might look at making some videos where I talk about these subjects in my usual awkward manner (I am far more comfortable behind a camera than in front of one, something I should work on!) Anyway, here's a little taste of where my creative outlets are going, a short poem about my own thoughts on alterous attraction set on a neat stock photo I found, using an interesting colour palette I hope doesn't murder the eyes of any colour-blind folx reading the page.

In several past posts I've said attraction comes in two forms: passive, and active. Passive is "I think they are attractive in that aspect, but I don't really have any desire to connect with them in it." Active is "I am attracted to them in that aspect, and would connect with them in a heartbeat!"

What makes a person? What underlying traits define our identities? Why do so many identities overlap with each other? How do we form relationships with other people? What are different frameworks with which to handle those relationships?

2020-01-01 08:48

So many things I want to write about, but the FB Al-Gore-isms make it difficult to get all the posts seen if I split them up, so this is going to be a longer post instead. First off, a couple flash backs to previous posts.

2019-11-08 07:43

2019-02-02 09:05

This is going to be a large topic, so I’m going to split it into a few parts to make it easier to write. In our interpersonal relationships, not everyone involved is always going to have the same attractions towards each other. They may be out of sync, or asynchronous; they may be completely different shapes, or asymmetrical. There are many variations on this theme, but probably the most famous is unrequited love. Songs, movies, and social movements have been born from this one seemingly simple topic. I don’t think it’s quite as simple as most depictions would make it seem though.

This was originally posted in multiple parts, but I prefer them to be together this time.