So a bit of a follow-up on a few things I've written about, along with more self revelations, one of which has taken way too long to realize!
As I've said before, I think the various kinds of attraction should be measured on a sliding scale. I'm using a simple one here: 0 being none, 1-4 being passive, 5 being neutral, 6-9 being active, and 10 being soul-bonding.
I think people experience platonic attraction the most in their lives, and as such it tends to get pushed to the back of people's hierarchies of attraction importance. Passive levels would be acquaintances, active levels friends. I'm one of the odd people for whom strong platonic connections are my most treasured, above and beyond any other kind of connection! I never thought too much about this before, but we'll get back to it.
Sexual attraction is of course one everyone is super familiar with, and has a lot of people very worked up over. I honestly think most people have at least a low passive attraction on this scale to people of their preferred genders. In that, "I can see why other people would be attracted to them, but I have no interest" kind of observational way. I'm again probably an odd one out where I think my default level is probably a 5. Kind of a "I'm not going to actively seek a sexual connection, but also wouldn't turn them down if they asked" level. There are obviously individual people where it's higher or lower, but right in that middle ground is my "normal". I don't need to be romantically attracted to be sexually attracted, but I usually require an active platonic connection before I will make a sexual connection. Don't think I qualify as a demi-sexual, but may fall somewhere on that spectrum.
Now we get to the one society puts on a pedestal. Romantic attraction. Novels, movies, television shows, songs, poems, a holiday (tomorrow) dedicated to it! Romance is without a doubt one of the biggest focuses on our society's relationship ideals. So why is it it's the one I've experienced the very least? I'd say I experience alterous (ambiguous) attraction more often than clear cut romantic attraction, and both only with people at a 9 or 10 on my platonic attraction scale. I've never had the "love at first sight" thing, as I need to get to know a person before I can love them, and even then, most of that love will be of a platonic nature. Researching alterous attraction on the Aspec sites, it finally dawned on me: I think I'm demi-romantic!
How I've managed to never make this logical connection before now is beyond me. I guess we're all a little blind when it comes to self actualization.
Romance has never been a big priority for me, and often when I do experience alterous or outright romantic attraction, I never say anything about it for fear that if the other person knew they'd treat me differently than if they didn't know. Thus in my 40 years on this Earth, while I've had maybe eight or nine such attractions, I've only told four. That none of the people (regardless of any reciprocity) I did tell ever shunned me (heck, one of them married me) should have made it easier to tell, but it hasn't. Will that ever change? Who knows, but I doubt it.
Anyway, yeah, the TLDR summary: attractions are weird, and I think I'm demi-romantic. Have a great day Theorists!