So I was browsing FB this morning, and came across a post making fun of unicorn hunters in one of the polyamory groups. Normally I'd laugh and agree with it. Except this was a meme of "When you see a cute girl on Tinder, but the profile is looking for a third, and her man is a solid 2/10." Which maybe could have been somewhat amusing, until I went into the comment section. I've never been more disappointed in the polyam community.
Dozens of jokes about "ugly men" calling them hobgoblins, komodo dragons, talking about their body hair, or height. I'm almost surprised I didn't see any small dick jokes. I'm disgusted. Utterly horrified by this. Imagine a similar thread but attacking the appearance of women, comparing them to harpies or dogs! Can you imagine the outrage?
As far as I can tell, I'm one of the only people in the group who called them out on this bullshit. Making fun of unethical behaviours like unicorn hunting and one penis policies is fine, but doing so by joking about anyone's physical appearance is NOT OKAY!
Body dysphoria is real, and it fucking sucks. For a year or more I've been working on experimental programmes for self image therapy. Didn't actually get a working trial going until July, and it's going to need more time and a larger test group to evaluate effectiveness, but it's showing promise. My views on this subject come from mostly personal experience. It's not fun, and it's not funny. You want to know who the truly "ugly" people are? The ones who make jokes about other people's appearances!
The added hurt is seeing this from a community that's usually positive and based entirely on ethical relationships and active consent. Disappointed is an understatement.
Check out all of The Rollercoaster FB posts:
- Collections of posts
- Standalone posts
- Self-Image Realisation
- Body Shaming (WTF‽)
- Pandemic Mental Health