My Post: Who's the most important? — 2020-04-14 08:19
A discussion in one of the RA groups I'm in was asking how in a non-hierarchical structure do you determine who's the most important person in your life, or deal with the desire to be the most important person in someone else's life. The question unfortunately is based on hierarchical assumptions which don't apply here. I don't have one person who is the most important. Let's use another example, I have two kids, how do I determine which one is most important? Silly question right? It's just as silly when applied to any other kind of relationship in an RA context. No single person will ever be the most important. Everyone is important in their own way, and every relationship is unique. Some may have properties which mean more time is allocated to them, but that doesn't make the others less important. Anyway, that's enough theory for today, I'll probably resume sharing funny memes this afternoon. 🙂
Comment from Brandy — 2020-04-14 09:01
I think that the question itself reveals the need for a deeper conversation for people to have. Are they really talking most important, or who they have the most obligation to? Or something like that. Also, it would be good to ask a question in response, "What is it about me/you that needs to feel special as "the most important" person?" What does that mean to you? What need does that fulfill?" Then we have to dig deeper into"let's talk about that need, what it means to you, ways you can get if fulfilled outside of me, what responsibility are you not taking for yourself, etc." Yeah, it's a different mindset. I think about it like "Which of your friends do you want to die if someone has to die?" "None of my friends!" "But why not?" "Because they are all special in different ways."
Comment from Jared — 2020-04-14 10:30
Well. I couldn't really name just one person it would be impossible like Tim said.
Comment from Emma — 2020-04-15 09:01
I honestly believe this is why many relationships fail, especially when it comes to people who are new to relationships. I remember in highschool people who get a partner and you would rarely see them. I don't think it's healthy to put all your love and struggle into one person. I always thought like, who do you complain or vent to about them? I have had amazing relationships with people I love deeply, but we still had fights and you need another person you can vent too. It's not fair to give everything to one person, that's a lot to carry!!
My Post: On Modeling (adult or otherwise) — 2020-04-14 08:48
In response to various comments disparaging women who choose to do adult internet modeling.
In case anyone thinks my posts about internet modeling are specific to women, nope, anyone of any gender can play this game! I've done it in the past (in my early 20s), and have been considering getting back into it again (there's apparently a market for "dad bods" who'd have thunk it?) Anyway, I digress. Ignore the naysayers and moral brigade, adult modeling is totally a legit art form, and a great way to earn some pretty good moolah!
My Reply to an AITA post — 2020-04-27 08:21
In response to a /r/AmITheAsshole post, I've included a screenshot of the post in the links.
Okay, I know I've been trying to post happy fun stuff lately, but came across this in one of the groups I'm in and have to reply, as this makes me so upset.
The idea that love is a limited resource and we need to invest "more" in some people than others is one of the most destructive and disgusting aspects of toxic monogamy culture. Love is not a zero sum game. It's infinite and knows no bounds! Stop trying to "prioritize" relationships and just love everyone in your life to the fullest!
Oh and to answer the OPs question, YES, you are the asshole!
Comment from Kim — 2020-04-27 09:19
Wow total asshole! Hes confusing expressions of love as quantifying it. How can he not see that he broke her little nine year old girl heart?! Especially since its not her biological mother, shes most likely feeling replaced. Dude needs to read up on the love languages.
My Post: Social Hang-Ups, topics to discuss — 2020-04-27 19:13
A few thoughts been swirling around in this odd brain of mine. I think some new theory posts may be incoming in the next few days. A few topics I might be exploring: society's hang-ups around nudity, society's hang-ups around sex, society's hang-ups around non-monogamy, society's hang-ups around relationships that exist outside the "friend" or "partner" false binary... you may be detecting a slight theme here. "Hang-ups" will be a series of posts over the next few weeks exploring why our society seems to have a lot of issues with certain aspects of the human experience. Stay tuned!